the worried heart

She’s got her running shoes on

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

Have you ever heard the saying “when a woman has her running shoes on she’s always going to keep running”?

😦 sadly this has been a term we’ve all been all to familiar with. Which we have experience in. Honestly until recently I didn’t really understand why.

We all experience pain through our lives. We are faced with pain sometimes so unbearable you want to hide inside yourself.

Loosing a lot and being rejected and hurt. You tend to clam up and build walls not everyone can get through.

Then…..
You meet someone you instantly want to belong to.
You find yourself wanting to heal, wanting what you see around you each day.
You wish……

You place your heart on a platter exposing that which you so much want to protect.

Protect from being crushed…..
Stepped on….
Lied to…..

You place your faith in someone who is only human….
Someone with faults as we all have…
Someone who is also hurting….
Who is also worried…..
Whom also has walls build so high it takes time to climb over….

Two broken individuals trying to move on, trying to mend that which has been broken….

You as a woman who’s been hurt..
Feel so weak..you feel needy…
You feel silly….you are constantly reminded that you don’t have a guarantee he won’t stop wanting you,
Won’t stop needing you,,,,

Your insecurities take over and you see him pulling away,, you feel his silence,, see his deep thoughts,,,
Watch him giving lesser and lesser of himself….
See him not saying what’s on his mind…
Watch him as you get the feeling he needs space?…..
And..
It hurts..
Again…..

That’s when you start to ache for what you had in the beginning. When his eyes smiled as he looked at you…
When he shared a moment with you..
When you felt connected to him…
Now all you feel is alone,,,,,

Then at some moment the strain that has been building up in your relationship explode…
And you fight..
You say things that should never have been said….

And you reach deep down in your soul to that part of you that you thought you buried,,you reach out to that strong,cold woman who took control when you felt so damn weak!….

And she hands you the “running” shoes…

You run…
You leave…
Running from the one thing you so much wanted…
You clam up and close yourself -no one gets through- no one…..

This a result of being hurt and lied to so many times…
Not an excuse I know..
But….

What that womans eyes see is this..
He needs space,,,he doesn’t want me around…I’m in his way….
He is only being polite that cold politeness you give to people you tolerate out of kindness….
The one thing the woman in his life shouldn’t get,,,he’s polite kindness,,,
He’s neighborly conversations,,,,

You are the one who shares his bed shouldn’t you be the one who receives his best? His love..
His attention…
His honesty,,,

Why then does he make you feel as though he wants you to run again just so that he can miss you all over again?

Marriage isn’t a game,,its not a sometime,,when I’m bored time..

Its a promise you made before God.
To cherish,love and protect each other.

When somethings get in the way and we feel distance between our partners and ourselves,,,

We shouldn’t assume,
We shouldn’t guess,
We should talk,
Reach out,
Speak up,

Putting on our running shoes because were scared just isn’t the answer..

We don’t gain anything from it but pain…

We should try and listen to each other.
Love is a everlasting promise of friendship….

Mistakes are to be made..
Were only human….

Forgiveness is the key

putting away the running shoes
Being brave….
Being strong…
Love your man…

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